Above: Santa Claus showing his balls to Madonna, circa 1885
Wondering what to get for your long-banged hipster cousin, your My Chemical Romance-loving sister, or your gay Madonna-worshipping uncle? Want to teach your square cousins in the heartland how to get past the velvet ropes at nightclubs in America's big cities? For Christmas 2006, stuff your stockings with copies of Confessions from the Velvet Ropes, the nonfiction book that chronicles the career of New York's most infamous club doorman. Your friends and relatives will thrill to the book's stories, like the riot that erupted at the Kimora Lee Simmons fashion show, or the night Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance was stalked by a crazed fan, or the time Madonna DJed at a small, exlusive downtown New York nightclub. And New York's # 1 club doorman, Thomas Onorato, is on hand dispensing oodles of valuable nightlife advice and hilarious anecdotes. Confessions also goes back in time for a visit to the legendary Studio 54, and includes a profile of that club's notorious doorman, Marc Benecke, as well as interviews and stories about more recent famous doormen, such as Derek Neen and Kenny Kenny.
Confessions from the Velvet Ropes is available at Barnes and Noble, Borders, and from Amazon.com